it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
