Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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