What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
