need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
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I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
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Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine