my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.