Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I could make wine with my vomit
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I need a hoe opinion