After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
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You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
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Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me