my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his