Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
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sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
We can't do acid Disneyworld.