there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
