Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just pee around me
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
