like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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