im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
