Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
