i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize