definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
