Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Less talking, more tequila
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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