To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
