I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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