I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
