i permit you to call me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize