i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
