i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
