Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
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It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
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