Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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