im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
