hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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