i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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