It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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