i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
