Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
