We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
