I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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