operation harelip BJ is a go
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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