just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Watching her eat just hurts me
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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