Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
