I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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