He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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