you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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