We're like a lot better than the average bears
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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