if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
