dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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