Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
