Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
