it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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