I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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