butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
