Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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