Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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