I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
