I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
