Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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