That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
