Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
