How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
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I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
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Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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