I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
