obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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