whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
