Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
