final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So much rum. So many feels.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
