Will you blow on my dice?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
